My New Invention – Suspense Pregnancy Kits

Pregnancy tests are a staple of TV drama. You can’t have a soap opera without the cliffhanger moment when someone is waiting in a bathroom staring at a wet little stick to find out if they’re up the duff or not.

And these days the technology is pretty advanced:

I just love that line about ‘the most advanced technology you’ll ever pee on’.

And it’s cool how it shows you ‘in words’ whether you’re pregnant or not. But it’s all a bit boring. And it doesn’t help with building the tension and excitement. It just says yes or no.

Imagine if Who Wants To Be A Millionaire behaved like that? “You’re wrong. Goodnight”. It just doesn’t work. You need the tease. The pauses. The moments of anticipation.

And lets face it. For most people the results of a pregnancy test are of gameshow sized importance.

So what if we changed from this:


To something more like this:

Pregnant Animation

Obviously this is a very crude prototype. The real thing would have a sound chip in it to get the heart rate racing. And the speed of flashing would vary. Probably going from fast to very very slow. A bit like a roulette wheel of fertilisation.

Or an alternative would be to have a whole group of words fading in and out of view: pregnant, not, are, you, maybe, etc. etc.

Anyway I think that there’s room to make an even more advanced piece of technology for people to pee on. Especially for the world of TV drama.

7 thoughts on “My New Invention – Suspense Pregnancy Kits”

  1. What about a Nike+ type online extention that (via wireless technology) allows you to share your test with your friends and family LIVE ONLINE!!!!!
    Possibly in partnership with Ladbrokes.

  2. Should definitely have a Facebook App built in. And Twitter too.

    But I think it gives you the answer too quickly. It should make you wait an hour or so. You know, “we’ll be back after the ads”, sort of thing.

  3. Following on from Ben’s comment. The ion screen ads could feature either contraceptive or alternatively child rearing products (to keep you guessing), perhaps even open university courses, the skys the limit.

  4. Obviously they would be the kind of pregnancy tests you give to charities to spread across the country and distribute them freely to or 13-yo mums! They should also come with a warning on the back: “Sex causes pregnancy” and deliver a message like ‘the father is the guy you slept with 3 days ago’, imagine the suspense.

    Otherwise, Christ, capturing the looks on their faces with a candid camera. Hahahahaha

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