As a 34 year old.
I’m 35 in 20 minutes and that’s a thing that makes me feel a bit, well, old.
I was trying to think what to write about on the train home. I’ve had 2 glasses of wine and a hectic day. And I’ve been to an uninspiring talk that I could moan about, but it wasn’t really all that bad. I was hoping that I could rant about something shitty then claim tomorrow, that as a 35 year old, it won’t happen again, I’ll have grown out of it. So imagine my delight when I got an awesome spam mail from…
No, not a viagra company.
Not a Nigerian fraudster.
Not even someone offering hot XXX slut action!
This time a spam from…
The Adweek Creative Conference.
Awesome.
Here it is:
So what’s wrong with that? Well I’ve outlined the best bits just to get it off my chest…
CREATIVE CONFERENCE: MASHUP 2007
WTF. The colon indicates that it’s a creative conference called Mashup 2007, rather than a mashup of creative conferences. Either way I’d rather chop off my own nipples than attend either of the options. Even if they are offering a bargain 4 for 3 offer!
But then they go and tempt me with witnessing ‘creative starpower’. Oh my god! Creative starpower! It sounds like something that the Jedi would have unleashed against the deathstar to render it powerless. So I read on, and what is the nature of this creative starpower…? It’s an ad legend.
Is it just me, or does an ad legend sound like an urban myth? (BTW I’m not having a pop at any individuals here, I’m sure that ad legends do exist, I don’t know Lee Clow and he could be a great guy). Anyway, on with the email…
I don’t know any of them. Leave me alone. And they’ve not come from my nominations. Stop it. Leave me alone. And you’re so excited about it you have to shout “BEST EMERGING TALENT”. That’s AWESOME!!!!
More shitting STAR POWER. And they’re going to help me MASTER the MASHUP. Honestly what the fuck is this all about…
I’ve got 4 minutes left until I’m 35. So goodnight. And this is the last rant of this nature that I’ll ever write. I’ll have honestly grown out of it by the morning. See you for Mashup 2008, I’m praying to be the Keynote Speaker.
x
Get it all of your system, old-timer!
I cringe at that bloody word, Mashup.
It makes me think of mashed spuds or smash hits, or mashed hits, the top-ten mashups brought to you by…
Happy 35th.
For me it is most effectively used with it’s jamaican meaning eg “ya mashup (destroyed) da mans shop”. Or perhaps smoking something to get “mashup”. However the latter seems to be more likely as it’s the only logical cause of such an awful mail shot.
Happy 35th Iain – you’ve got my email now!