Who Stole My Inner Reading Voice?


I don’t know what’s happened. My inner reading voice changed. It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. It’s as if someone stole the old one and did a switcheroo.

Thankfully now I’m writing a bog-standard blog post it’s changed back to normal. As I write (and re-read) this the voice that speaks the words back in my head sounds reassuringly like me (actually it sounds more like how I’d like to sound rather than how I actually do).

The funny ‘internal-reader’ theft happened in the middle of writing up an idea for a client. It’s not a particularly grand idea, not in the grander scheme of grand things anyhow. But I guess if I’m being honest I suppose I was writing it with a bit of pomp to set things up. I went back to the beginning, to skim what I’d written, and all of a sudden I could hear bloody Morgan Freeman reading my words back to me.


He was using his ‘March of the Penguins’ voice rather than his ‘Shawshank’ – so at least he’d had the decency to pick the right voice for the job. I wonder how much he’d cost to actually come and do the presentation for me? I think he might just sway it…

6 thoughts on “Who Stole My Inner Reading Voice?”

  1. Great image of you pitching your idea to the client, a room full of incredulous faces as you explain your idea in a really bad Morgan Freeman voice. The day that crackunit finally cracked!!

  2. Hang on… but doesn’t your inner reading voice change according to what you’re reading anyway? For example – in reading this I don’t hear my own voice in my head – I hear yours.

  3. Beddard, yes. But that’s my point I was reading what I’d written. And it didn’t sound like me any more. Reading your comment sounds like you – well it does in my head anyway.

  4. I can no longer read – only scan. Which is fine for work stuff, but means when reading a novel I scan the first few pages and then realise I have absolutely no idea what’s happening. It’s the internet’s fault.

  5. You just wait until you start reading children’s stories, you’ll be doing Morgan Freeman out loud just for kicks.

  6. Iain, this is your best blog entry yet as far as I’m concerned.

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