I’ve been away for a couple of weeks. And I didn’t even say goodbye. Sorry.
I’ve been in India taking a break from all things electronic and digital. It was nice. But now I’m back I feel like a digital retard. I’ve got no idea what’s going on (again). Looks like the world is still economically fucked and YouTube videos now have a search box in them when they’re embedded. Apart from that I can’t see any real difference. Apart from Christmas seems to have arrived.
Hopefully I can convert my feelings of stupidity and clumsiness into some kind of wide-eyed optimisim and excitement for the future of the universe…
Things I did in India 1 – Went Deaf
While I was away there were two bits of news that leaked onto the interwebs. Firstly I did send a Twitter to say that I’d gone 80% deaf. Which was true, and very scary. But with the aid of an Indian doctor, some eardrops and a family pack of cotton buds I managed to get back to something approaching decent hearing. I’ll spare the photos of ear-goo.
Things I did in India 2 – Got Made to Look Like a Total Tool
Last week some of my ‘friends’ put a load of pictures up on Facebook with me tagged looking ‘special’. For that I thank them. What with the best form of defense being attack and all that here are the highlights of the offending evening…
I’m going to break the first rule of the game, by telling you the rules of the game. It was basically like a ‘Secret Santa’ – everyone had to buy someone else in the group an outfit costing not more than 500 rupees (about 7 quid). As you can imagine budget ethnic-wear gives massive scope for humiliation. We had to wear our outfits for an entire evening ‘on the town’. My ‘friend’ Neil is no longer my friend.
Full group horror:
I would not recommend playing this game. Those leggings were incredibly hard work and I had to utilise a kind of over the shoulder man-bag to preserve my modesty. There are more photos on Facebook but I’d recommend not going anywhere near them.
In spite of this humiliation I had a great time and did some nice things too. More later.
It’s kind of nice to be back. And properly clothed.
I think you look alright.
You’ve always been my favourite.
Coor. Lookin hot. We’re taking you sale shopping with us!
I am Iain’s ex-friend Neil. I am hurt. I thought he liked his outfit.