Write Like a Email Scammer Day – 06.02.08

Nigerian Scammers

Following on from last year’s ‘Speak Like a Pirate Day’. I’m proposing that the world embark upon a ‘Write Like an Email Scammer Day’.

I was motivated to propose this course of action resulting from a recently inbounded email communication from my orphan and esteemed friend Miss Mary Johnston. Of particular noteworthiness from the aforementioned I markedly refer to the below:

Hello Dear Chosen one,
Please excuse me for all the inconveniences my mail could cause you. I have the pleasure to expose to you my predicaments.

Please even if we never knew before, I believe firmly that on the basis of the right of humanitarian assistance that a real confidence and love can arise from our communication and also a real partnership between us.

Henceforth and furthermore:

Today my major concern is to move out this sum outside here. Given that I am the only child and I have seriously suffered from the ragging and the harassments on behalf of the political opponents of my Father.

It is in this prospect that I contact you. Because of the political war and the hostilities in this country I seriously wish to leave from here and live the rest of my life in a more peaceful and politically more stable and quiet country.

Her electronic mail terminates as such:

I would like to count on your human, virtuous and professional qualities to actualise this project. I look forward to receive your urgent responds.

Thanks for your care and may God bless you for your kind heart to hear the cry of an orphan

The details of the impressive sums of finance to which she refers for have been found necessary for removal resulting from safety sake and to avoid the greed exemplified by the enemies of her forefathers and those reading this website.

By joining me in ‘write like an email scammer day’ you will eligible to receive untold fortunes and grate happinesses in your futures. A proposed day of action is suggested as being 6th February 2008 (THE sixth of FEBRUARY, Two thousand AND eight).

Your loyal friend and compatriate.

Mr Iain Tait

(Image borrowed from the excellent book Cry For Help which has a collection of wonderful scam emails with lovely illustrations to match)

12 thoughts on “Write Like a Email Scammer Day – 06.02.08”

  1. Dear Mr Tait,

    I am pleased to hear of this EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY and will happily join you in REJOICING in this way.

  2. Iain, brilliant idea.

    I’m in.

    I’ve already deposited US $3 billion in your bank account in safe-keeping from my cousin who is a Nigerian Government Official, and other ‘wealthy investors’.

    It’s making equity all-time for beautiful truthfulness, doubtless.

    (Actually scratch that last line, sounds more like Harry Enfield’s ‘Stavros’ than a Nigerian scam artiste.;-)

  3. Hello Dear

    How are you together with your Family Today? I have cleverly studied your post and it is my pleasure to let you know that WE ARE HERE TO PROTECT/WORK IN YOUR INTRESTED IN MAKING SURE THAT write like an email scammer day BE WRITEFUL YOURS and will furnish your post with URGENT ATTENTION

    WE HUMBLY AWAIT YOUR CORDIAL RESPONSE

    Thanks and Remain Blessed.

  4. I think I’m assembling a crack team of scam-mail writers with very little effort…

    I can ASSURE that MANY RICHES will be SHARED inbetween us. Next STEPS. I would like to pay you EACH a deposit of 47 (FORTY SEVEN uk Pence) to cover expenses and suchforth.

    Please fax your PAYPAL login name and password to my SECRETARY in NIGERIA who will assist with the IMMEDIATE PAYMENT! OF 47 (Forty SEVEN PENCE) now.

    Humble thanks.

  5. Dear Sir
    My name is DR SILAS UBETT and I am contacting you from Lagos for a mutual
    business relationship and investment.

    Staufenberger (Lagos) has recently undertaken a branding development project for the Nigerian Government to help boost tourism.

    The original value of this contract was deliberately over – invoiced with the aid of associates inside the Nigerian Tourist Board. Consequently, Staufenberger (Lagos) was paid the sum of US$36,400,000.00 [Thirty Six Million, Four Hundred Thousand United States Dollars].

    Unfortunately, the present democratic government of President Olusegun Obasanjo has constituted a Contract Review Panel [CRP], to evaluate and vet such contracts. Due to this scrutiny, we are unable to withdraw these funds in Nigeria.

    My colleagues have therefore mandated me to look for and Offshore partner with whose help we can access these funds [totalling US$36,400,000.00]. Hence we are sending you this mail.

    Needless to say, the trust reposed in you at this juncture is enormous, we have agreed amongst ourselves to offer you 25% of the transfered sum while 5% shall be set aside for incidental expenses incured during the course of the transaction by both parties. It is our intention therefore, having your undersatnding and cooperation to invest our 70% share of these funds in our London partner, Staufenberger, Smith & Butte LLP.

    To facilitate this transfer, you will first need to establish a financial relationship with Staufenberger
    (London) by awarding that office with a contract for services to your organbisation. In the first instance you should talk to John Staufenberger ([email protected]). Please contact me through our website (http://www.staufenberger-lagos.com ) immediately you have done so, thus signifying your capability and willingness to enable me give you additional details on our proposed modus-operandi of getting these funds to you 100% risk – free.

    Again we look forward to doing business with you and solicit your utmost confidentiality in this transaction.

    Yours Faithfully,

  6. From : Nicholas Adams
    Abidjan Ivory coast
    Email + ([email protected] )

    Tel/+225 0796 5064

    APPEAL FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE.

    Dear,

    With due respect and with GOD all thing are possible that is why I call for help to please Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your name and contact from the internet. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and there commendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person that I can do business with and by the recommendation , I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere clean business 100% risk free assurance. I am Mr Nicholas Adams the only son of late Mr.Zuma Adams My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan the economic capital of Ivory coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip .My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on january 2004 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of seven million,five hundred thousand United State Dollars. US($7.5m) left in fixed /suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only son for the next of Kin in Depositing of the fund.

    He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as realestate management or hotel management. I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

    (1) To provide a bank account in which this money would be transferred into.
    (2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 22 years old.
    (3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

    Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. All the necessary arrangement has been made at the bank where my late father deposited this fund and the DIRECTOR of the bank told me that as soon as an account of my choice is forwarded to their bank that they will transfer this fund to my destination.

    Please write back to me immediately you received this mail for us to proceed in this transaction which I beleived that you shall call me for good news that you have comfirm my money in an account which you will provide.

    Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within seven (7) days you signify interest to assist me.

    Thanks and God bless you.
    Best regards,

    Nicholas Adams.

    NB: Dear lovely one as a matter that requries urgent attention please and please reply me immediately your receive this mail for more discussion and make sure you get back to me with this my private mail box… ([email protected])
    ([email protected] ) for security Reason.

    From : Nicholas Adams
    Abidjan Ivory coast
    Email + ([email protected] )

    Tel/+225 0796 5064

    APPEAL FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE.

    Dear,

    With due respect and with GOD all thing are possible that is why I call for help to please Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your name and contact from the internet. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and there commendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person that I can do business with and by the recommendation , I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere clean business 100% risk free assurance. I am Mr Nicholas Adams the only son of late Mr.Zuma Adams My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan the economic capital of Ivory coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip .My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on january 2004 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of seven million,five hundred thousand United State Dollars. US($7.5m) left in fixed /suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only son for the next of Kin in Depositing of the fund.

    He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as realestate management or hotel management. I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

    (1) To provide a bank account in which this money would be transferred into.
    (2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 22 years old.
    (3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

    Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. All the necessary arrangement has been made at the bank where my late father deposited this fund and the DIRECTOR of the bank told me that as soon as an account of my choice is forwarded to their bank that they will transfer this fund to my destination.

    Please write back to me immediately you received this mail for us to proceed in this transaction which I beleived that you shall call me for good news that you have comfirm my money in an account which you will provide.

    Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within seven (7) days you signify interest to assist me.

    Thanks and God bless you.
    Best regards,

    Nicholas Adams.

    NB: Dear lovely one as a matter that requries urgent attention please and please reply me immediately your receive this mail for more discussion and make sure you get back to me with this my private mail box… ([email protected])
    ([email protected]) for security Reason.

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